My thoughts on this: Think about what you gain from this fighting? You must be getting something out of it or you wouldn't be doing it? If you truly want to stop, because you realize that you aren't getting anything out of it but more stress, anger and resentment, then you have to commit to not engaging. How to do that? First, you examine, understand and admit that the fighting keeps you attached to the relationship, that by engaging in this kind of behavior you are more troubled and aggressive than you want to be. Then ask yourself and imagine a few of your last fights and in your mind see yourself reacting to your ex the way you want to react. Run over that scene many times in your mind until you are comfortable with your response. Next fight opportunity make a commitment to yourself to react in that way. You have to re-train yourself.

Another method that works across the board for me in every conflict/fight situation (including with my kids) is that I have two options to choose from 1. I agree with some part of what they're saying and never defend myself (which throws the person off completely and immediately stops the fight) example of this; (accusation0 You're babying the kids. (reaction–look for some part of this accusation that you are comfortable agreeing with) You're right I am a little over protective. 2. The other method I use is active listening, which means I ask in question form the accusation that's just been made) example: (accusation) You baby the kids. (reaction) You think that I'm over protective which will effect the kids adversely in the long run? In both these situations you MUST refuse to defend yourself. The results of both these methods have been amazing in my life. I have almost no stress, am completely unafraid of conflict and have grown in so many ways by not defending myself and being willing to admit that yes, that's me and it's OK.

Question: Worrying about money since I am working PT as a church secretary, looking for another PT job so I can be home with the boys after school to help with homework, have dinner with them, baths, story time…and worrying about the boys starting back school , hoping they have nice teachers and no more bullying problems…

My thoughts on this: I put both these questions together because they are so similar and so clearly illustrate unconditional love:) This is the beauty I see in mothers, the will, grit and determination to do whatever needs to be done to raise their kids. All the things that float around in our minds WHILE we cover our responsibilities is mind blowing to me. To be looking for a second job and still worrying about teachers and bullying, to be caring for ill family while working, going to school and trying to create a better life for your kids. First and foremost I want you both to take a step back and look at all you've already done to hold your lives together and then be really proud of yourselves! I know that doesn't help your debt situation but maybe it can counter some of the stress you feel. I'm not a financial planner so can't address how to lower your debt, but I am an expert in stress management!  And I know that there is nothing helpful about worry. It's better to do what your doing, the best you can, and take each situation as it comes up day to day. Compiling worries and fears just makes everything worse and doesn't solve any of your problems. Worry also drains your emotions so that you can't be as available to your kids when you are with them. Take one day at a time and don't think too much ahead right now.

One thing that will help you is connecting with other single moms who face the same struggles–you may even find a way to help each other out, even if it just means babysitting for each other or having a family diner once a week so you can have adult companionship with someone who understands exactly where you are.

My thoughts on this: Lots of life questions you're asking! I want to start by throwing a question out there. Sometimes when we don't want to deal with our own emotional issues we use distraction techniques that include throwing yourself into something new and challenging. Going to school described as both freedom and bondage is troubling to me. This may not be the right time to go back to school. It may be that you need some time to let a new root system grow for you and your family. You admitted to being emotionally overrun. It's your job to change that so that you can be the best mother you can be. Truly loving yourself begins with listening to yourself. Paying attention to how you feel and how you cope. Loving yourself means taking a step backwards and asking what would help me adjust and heal? Pretend you are your own loving mother. What would she be telling you to do? If it's advice you want, stop school and re-evaluate in 6 months after you've adjusted to your move and loved yourself enough to attend to your emotional bondage.

As far as networking with other single moms, join our single moms connect networking community!

My thought on this: I  haven't had this experience myself but know many women who have adopted or gone through invitro. Every one of them has said it changed their life in the most amazing, joyous and life altering ways. I think others can share their experiences with you, but only you know which path would best fit into your life; the person you are, the goals you have and the vision you have of the family you wish to create. Look inward.

I'm also hoping that others who have adopted or undergone invitro will post comments or suggestions.